How to get your ass kicked on Christmas

I've grown accustomed to the retail mediocrity that is Carson Pirie Scott, even though I maintain its residence in the former L.S. Ayres building is a department store tragedy.

The apparel selection is O.K. at best and the clearance shoe room is really the only reason I cross the threshold. The 75 percent off signs are a permanent fixture, making what was once a grand example of American dry goods into nothing more than a glorified T.J. Maxx.

But when I pulled the holiday catalog (pamphlet, really) from my mailbox yesterday, Carson's reached a new level of ridiculousness in my mental retail repertoire.

A man in a reindeer sweater, really?
You can't see it in my crappy iPhone photo, but he's paired this hideous piece with navy blue corduroy cargo pants.
Even I want to punch him in the face.

The best part is his tough-guy facial expression.
Come on dude, you're wearing reindeer.

Sigh.

I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt and consider the possibility he's just returned to his chalet from skiing in the Alps. Or maybe his dear old granny (whose name was Polo Ralph Lauren) just passed away and she knitted this sweater as her last act of elderly creativity.

I'm sorry, Polo Ralph Lauren, but no one is going to buy this sweater, especially for $225.

Yikes.

It's Alice!: Just think how Heidi Klum's old friends must feel

A girl I worked with during a short stint as a hostess at Palomino is now a model in Chicago.
I am not surprised by this for two reasons:

• anyone can see she's model material
  
• when she signed with Ford Models a couple years ago she shouted it from the roof tops. As well she should have.

But what did surprise me was scrolling lazily through my Google Reader and coming across her photo on a girl's blog from Kansas. (Kansas Couture) I sent her a Facebook message that said something like, "um, hey Alice, is this you?" to which she responded, "yes!"

Maybe this epiphany doesn't warrant its own blog post, but I think there's some psychology to discuss here.

In my capacity as well, a girl, I know that most every girl--if only in her head--is at some point certain she was put on this Earth to be photographed for a living. During some stretch of time in her life, she marvels at her reflection and wonders if her face is indeed a catwalk face, or a catalog face or any kind of fashion face.

So when we, as in the female sex, know someone who actually becomes a model, and receives that verification that she is a walking masterpiece of nature, there's always a moment of disbelief and yes, jealousy. Upon seeing this lovely photo of Alice (Alice, if you're reading this, it really is spectacular) my reactions were these:

1. ooo, I like that dress. Great use of that silk crepe and that salmon color!
2. Wait. Is that Alice? Yes, I think it's Alice.
3. She looks beautiful.
4. sigh. *feels sad for not looking like Alice*

Thing is, it took me knowing the model personally to even pay attention to her. I am terrible with model face recognition. Aside from the super famous ones, they all kinda look the same to me. I know that sounds awful, but I honestly think it's because I'm too busy looking at the clothes they're wearing. That's the point, right?

What do you all think?

My first shwag: Arm leggings from QVC

I was so excited to come across a letter addressed to the "fashion editor" the other day I didn't even mind the return address said Honolulu Puka Shell Exchange. In case you didn't know, puka shell=barf.

But to my surprise (and relief), the envelope didn't contain any puka shells. Rather, there was a shwag* pair of mesh leopard print sleeves. And when I say sleeve, don't go assuming there's a shirt attached. They're two mesh tubes with elastic at the top, so as to create the illusion you're wearing a leopard print shirt under something, without the hassle of actually wearing the shirt.

And ya know what? I like 'em. I wish they weren't leopard print and I wish they didn't look like an accessory from a child's dime store leopard costume but I like 'em.

Where can you get a pair, you ask? QVC. The decorative sleeves will launch Thanksgiving day at 2 p.m. as a part of a two hour feature about Lee Sands. The price will be "under $20" for a set of four. Tattoo-patterned sleeves are also available. Sands is most famous for his puka shell accessories from the 70's, when puka shell did not = barf, hence the Honolulu Puka Shell Exchange return address. If for some reason you have an affinity for puka shells, Sands still sells his beachy jewelry here

*something a company or person sends a media professional, in hopes said professional will write about shwag product. In this case it worked.

Vote for the most stylish blogger

It's a travesty I dismissed the first reminder email from Bluefly to participate in this fantastic little contest last week, which, I'm pretty sure was owed to my impulse to rapidly delete any and every email that isn't from a. office personnel, b. a boy I like or c. my serial email girly friends. Well, OK, and d. an email about a great sale.

But when I opened the second email today after spotting the words "stylish blogger" in the subject line, I'm so glad I did.

Every Tuesday a group of lovely lady bloggers are given an item to create a look with. They have themselves photographed wearing said look and the stylistas of America have at it. I mean, what do self-proclaimed style mavens do better than cast judgement upon outfits of others? What a wonderful concept!

My only question: Where's Susie Bubble? Did she get left out due to her utterly bazarre personal style? Or is it simply that she isn't American? Does Bluefly even deliver overseas?

Anywho, the committee who selected these fashion scribes obviously overlooked me because I hadn't yet posted the picture of myself in my party hat (below) taken last night at my ghetto chic 24th birthday dinner party. Oh well, maybe next year. Note the fashion forward, awkwardly-yet-intentionally exposed bra strap. (Kidding) But seriously, the sweater dress is BCBG OK?

From Haute in the Heartland

In the meantime you can vote for the girls who were recognized here.
This week (the contest's second) the challenge was to create an outfit using the Prada ash suede ankle boot.

IBJ Style Extra: Refind Originals photos

In my last column, which will hit newsstands tomorrow in the IBJ (read it, you'll like it) I discuss Anita Hopper's handbag business, which she runs from her adorable home in Irvington. If you've read that already you may want to just skip the sappy part that will ensue and just look at the photos that wouldn't fit on that darn paper page. For those of you who haven't read the column or if you just really like it when I wax poetic about people who remind me of my mom, read on.

Anita, of Refind Originals, makes bags out of leather jackets she finds at thrift stores, or out of leather jackets people send her for use as a custom bag. I cannot resist affordable custom goods, so I had Anita make me a purse. Of course I first asked my mom and close friends if they had anything leather and ugly they could donate to my cause, but I should've known better than to think any of those stylish people would buy and then keep something ugly.

So I coaxed a friend into helping me hunt for something at Goodwill. You know who you are, you trooper. By the way, how does your mom like that Florida mug?

In all my greedy excitement over getting a custom handbag, I didn't consider how personal Anita's job can get. Women send jackets worn by their deceased husbands, people write her heartfelt thank you notes when they receive their bag.

And it makes sense that Anita should get much love out of this business, because she puts so much in. She and I sat in her living room and bonded over handmade accessories, which is why I love my job so, so much.

Here are the before and after shots of the bag that now ably carries my treasured Kate Spade sunnies and well, my life. If you need one too, go here

Midwest Fashion Week Schedule: Very late

OK, so it starts tomorrow.
Who plans ahead these days anyhow?

The full schedule is below so you all can pencil in your dossiers, but first, a note about MWFW:

As a turbo rookie in the world of reporting I pre-judged this pioneer of an event. What I realize now is it too was a rookie when I first came in contact with it. But in the last two years both the event and myself have grown in our careers and honed our skills.

Yes, last year's VIP fashion show included lights coming on at inopportune times and music that did not match the models' choreography. But I'm gonna go ahead and say this year will be better than last year, just like last year was better than the year before that.

New this year is a collaboration with Fashion Group International and the Art Institute's fashion program. The Thursday event at the Scottish Rite Cathedral (mentioned below) is a fine example of this partnership. I'll be judging the student fashion show and will be decked out in my new (well, new to me) plaid Marc Jacobs dress. Say hi if you see me!

So, the schedule, as promised:

Midwest Fashion Week Schedule

Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Meet and Greet at the Conrad Hotel
Location: Conrad Indianapolis
Time: 5:00pm-7:00pm
Admission: open to media, fashion insiders, & business owners Registration is required

Thursday, October 15, 2009
Scottish Rite Cathedral
650 N. Meridian St. Indianapolis, IN 46204
Time: 6:00PM-11:00PM
Friday, October 16, 2009
Admission: $25.00 general public

Midwest Fashion Week Trunk Show
Time: 10am-6pm
Location: Indianapolis Art’s Garden
110 W. Washington St. Indianapolis, IN 46204
Time: 10:00 AM – 6:00 PM Great way to shop!
* Trunk show featuring Local & surrounding designers and Major retail store
Admission: Free to general Public

Runway Show Time: 6:00pm-8:00pm

Saturday, October 17, 2009
Spectrum of Fashion
Scottish Rite Cathedral 650 N. Meridian St. Indianapolis, IN 46204

VIP reception Time: 6:00pm-8:00pm

VIP Reception includes
• Bentley red carpet entrance
• Cocktails/Hors D’oeuvres
• Meet and Greet Designers and models
• Front row sitting at fashion show
• Rising Star award
Spectrum of Fashion runway show Time 8:00PM – 10:00PM

Admission: $25.00 for regular sitting at runway show, $75.00 for VIP
Host: Stacy Paetz

Get a special rate on your hotel reservation when you book through Conrad. Just say Midwest Fashion Week event!

Featuring Designers: Catou, Kayoss Designs, J and J child, Catherine Fritsch, G. Ingles, Laura Kathleen, Antonio Fermin, B Trousseau couture, Emily Clark, Jennifer Wehlacz, Judy Mintze, Nancy Lee, Sylvia Gray, Replica, Leo the Fith, Aesthetic, Sharp

Indieana Handicraft Exchange=awesome

My Saturdays usually contain little activity aside from sleep, that is, until 5 p.m. when I roll out of bed and make myself presentable for cocktail schlepping at Nicky Blaine's. This past Saturday though, was oddly stylish, far divorced from my usual weekend uniform of slippers and whatever I slept in. My vastly talented, furniture designing friend Ben Langebartels and I ventured to the Indieana Handicraft Exchange, a maiden voyage for us both.

For those of you who haven't been, it's a craft fair without the dumb, country stuff. There are no sewing boxes adorned with hot glue gun-affixed buttons. There are no vests made from Butterick patterns, "artfully" personalized with puffy painted winter scenes. There are only young, cool people sitting behind their booths of equally cool stuff, waiting for someone to come along and gasp.

Albeit Ben and I stood out like sore thumbs among the ranks of Indy's proudest punky crowd. Other than my tiny nose stud and sole tattoo that no one can see I don't really fly my freak flag for the general public. And Ben's buzz cut paired with a Salvation Army-found mechanic's shirt was no match for the male fashion standard. We'll do better next year, oh yes, we will.

So on to the good stuff, what i bought. And relax, there are only two items.

• wooden drop earrings by Studio AMF. I admired Allison Ford long before I met her on Saturday and way before she chased after me when I left my debit card at her booth. (silly me) But now I admire her even more She uses her grandfather's woodworking tools, and technique, to create smooth-as-butter jewelry in simple-yet-imaginative shapes. I knew straight away I'd be purchasing the elongated tear drop earrings with their dainty silver (real silver, not glitter) specks.

  From Haute in the Heartland

  True artisan craftsmanship for $36? Yes, please.
• organza flowers bib necklace by Backwoods Belle. It sort of reminds me of the drool-worthy pieces by Marlaina Stone, of Fair Royal Oak, Mich. but without the unattainable prices. Marlaina, if you're reading this, your stuff is totally worth a million bucks, which is why I own none of it. The necklace below, however, was $40. That's still outside the scope of my newly enforced budget, but my parents never read this so it'll be our secret. Wink!
  

  From Haute in the Heartland